This dress was meant to end up on your floor
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
