i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
