literally had 100 drinks last night.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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