Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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