I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
May the power of my ass compel you!!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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