The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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