And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
