Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
