Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
i out mim tonsoeep
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
