Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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