i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
