when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
