And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Randomize
