i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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