then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
