her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
