My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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