Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
