You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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