he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
And then my night got REAL pukey
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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