i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
