And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Randomize
