I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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