At least make sure they are 18
Why
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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