How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
