no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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