I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
