So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
