so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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