If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
