This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
