windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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