We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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