Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
