dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
