Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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