Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
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