I faked an abortion last night.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
It's just like the Real World with babies
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
