Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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