please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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