don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
