My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize