do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
