everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
