Having a random hookup so left but love u
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
