just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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