yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
