Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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