Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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