So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
