Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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