He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
